Dude, you are so Schettinoed.
Ask any “hoodyed-up” , skateboarding twenty-something all the way up to a 95-year-old triathlete who is the last person off a ship and they will universally exclaim, “Why, the captain, of course!”
Apparently not so, in what now passes for the Italian Navy. Last week as the Costa Concordia cruise ship listed to starboard after striking what the New York Times referred to as a “rocklike object” [Just what is a rocklike object, anyway?] the captain, one Francesco Schettino, found himself firmly ensconced in a lifeboat while as many as 300 passengers were still on board the crippled ship, scrambling to safety.
The only bright spot to emerge thus far is the recorded voice of a Captain De Falco of the Coast Guard telling the ship’s captain, in no uncertain terms, to shinny his Schettino back up the rope ladder hanging from the bow and to take command of the evacuation, to which he whined about the list of the ship and the fact that it was dark outside. Stern stuff, indeed.
As if from the plot of a Joseph Conrad novel, the ship never sank. It came to rest with virtually all of the upper deck well above the waterline, thus making Schettino’s early departure all the more ignominious.
This morning’s press accounts reveal the real reason the captain was in a lifeboat instead of on board and in command: he tripped and fell into a lifeboat. Right.
What a Schettino-head.
Photo credit: AP/NYT